Local Mom goes on killing spree. Slaughters dozens of dermatologists. Uses their skin to make wrinkle cream. Looking twenty years younger, the police can’t identify her from mug shots. Also works on fingerprints, she reveals. Previous attempts using Pirate’s Booty, gorilla sperm, and bouncy castle plastic all failed. Don’t pay thousands for worthless laser abrasion therapy, she contends. Offers her secret recipe for a price. Now you can look young too.
And maybe a little psycho.