Sex Over 70

A new study suggests that Men’s libidos last well into their 60s and 70s, while women get all bored with the whole intercourse thing and would rather just read a book. This study was made via polls, of course, meaning that they just went out and conducted surveys, which made me wonder how I would respond to such a survey, and what they hell was wrong with the women anyway?

Okay, I’m not anywhere near 60, and I’m certainly just as obsessed with sex as I was when I was younger. Well… okay, maybe not that obsessed. I still think about sex at least every five to ten minutes, but that’s probably down a bit from my younger years when it was every few seconds. I can’t possibly imagine not having my attention ripped away by the sight of a beautiful female, even if I’m pretending not to look or be interested. That’s just how I’m programmed. I’m married, and I would never do anything physical (I don’t even flirt), but that doesn’t mean my mind isn’t going to wander, and my imagination isn’t going to mentally undress every woman I come into contact with. Well… most of them anyway.

Is this the difference, I wonder, between the sexes when the body starts to slow down? Sex is, after all, something that’s mostly in your head. According to the survey, only 40% of women in the 65 to 74 age range reported having sex in the last year, vs. 67% for men. Was the gender mortality percentage taken into account? I would hope so – there would certainly be fewer men at this age, increasing the availability of willing women to the remaining men. For guys, outliving the competition is a major advantage – although not for procreation – but more for recreation.

One of the things noted was that, for men, sex is often tied to an erection. If we can get it up, then we can get it on.  For women, it’s apparently more connected to body image and how they feel about their bodies. If they don’t think they look hot, then they aren’t going to feel hot. To make matters worse, older women focus on things they don’t like about themselves – thighs and tummies. Apparently they can’t see their asses, so they’re less of a concern. (WTF? Go get a mirror). Psychologists think that these “body image issues” may be even more of a libido dampener than menopause. It’s a serious hangup for older women, but it’s also one that men can help with if they’re made aware of it (and if they’re willing to put forth the effort). So I guess if you’re an older guy, and you’ve got an older lady that you want to get frisky with, then maybe you need to weigh your options and ask yourself if stoking her fire is going to be worth the fun it will provide (and the exercise, let’s not forget that, because you need all the low-impact exercise you can get after 70).

Obviously, the amount of effort required to get the motor running is going to vary between women. Everyone’s different. Maybe you’re married to a nymphomaniac, and even at 70, you still can’t keep up with her. Awesome for you! But most of us aren’t going to be that lucky. Some of us are going to be even less lucky and have a partner that looks at sex as something of a duty. (Boring) If so, you should either get a divorce or adopt her philosophy, because at 70, you’re unlikely to change her mind. And besides, by this time, you should have done something about it already.

So what do you do? Complements – that’s what she needs. Blatant outright lies, if that’s what it takes. (This is my theory anyway). I won’t be able to test this, of course, until my wife and I reach this age, but I suspect that when I’m in the mood and she’s not, I should be able to get her going by telling her how sexy she is. Sure, wine and chocolate and foot rubs and a deep hot oil massage might help too, but it’s the mental conditioning that will probably be the primary factor in activating her libido. She needs to be confidant that I think she’s attractive for her to feel that my desire is validated. She needs to know that I want her, and that this isn’t just about taking care of business I need taken care of, but that this is something for both of us. I want her to feel good too. It’s a bonding thing, and one that not only brings two people closer, but is frankly rather intimate and somewhat personal. So I’m going to tell her how beautiful she is, even if I don’t think so. I’m going to lie about it, and I’m going to do a good fricken job about lying too. And why am I going to lie? Because I want the sex. That’s pretty simple. The question that should be in her head is why am I putting forth so much effort, and the answer to that should be obvious – because I want her. And that should be the biggest turn-on for her – to be wanted enough that I’d be willing to lie about it and try this hard to get her going. This feedback loop, if performed successfully, should get me somewhere.

But, like I said, I haven’t reached this age yet, and so this is merely a theory. It does work now but at this age, I don’t need to lie – she’s still very sexy. Ask me in another ten to twenty.  With any luck, I’ll never have to lie!

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24 Responses

  1. I think women are affected more by aging than men. Another reason could be that most women don’t think about sex that often like men. For men, every hour they have to think about it while for women it is quite different.

    When couples reach their 60’s and 70’s I think their former lives determine their sexual activity. Because some couples they don’t miss a beat. Again it comes down to the partners, some women would live without it while some men that would be an issue. To each his own. The fact is that for the woman – the urge is most times gone.

    • Those are some very good points Corve.

  2. Even at age 54, I feel as if my experience is too limited to add to what you’ve already said so well. I was attached to the same woman for 37 years (married for 35) and we were complete opposites. Publicly, she was the extrovert and I was the introvert. Privately, she was uptight and inhibited and I was “unleash the hounds!”

    By the end of our marriage I was a mental wreck and she was afire with abandon! I don’t know if it has anything to do with the “liberating” effects that menopause is said to have on some women, but it was like the dam had finally broken like I had prayed for for years! But I was too damaged by then to take advantage. With her new attitude, in combination with the outgoing nature she already had, I found myself unable to even see her through the dust kicked up by her heels!

    I’m sure there’s a lesson in there somewhere.🙄

    • I’m sure there is too.
      But, if there’s not a lesson, there’s certainly a good story!
      Might make a nice piece of contemporary literature.
      Write it up. It could be the “Great Expectations” of our time.

      • I really don’t know how to respond to that. But in my admittedly limited experience, such a rapid change in perspective is usually caused by my chain being yanked.😯

      • Nope.
        Of course, it has to be written the right way.
        But it does seem to be the type of thing that would sell.
        Um… is there any chance you could get her back at the end?
        (It might not happen in real life, but it could make a better ending).🙂
        People like it when the boy gets the girl back.

      • Stop that! I’ll start having those damned dreams again!🙄

        You’ve reminded me of why I hate modern heroic / romantic fiction. In MY endings, the guy always rides away with the girl AND the cash!😆

  3. While the drive hasn’t gone down, I am glad I am past my youth when the vibration of riding on a bus could cause unintended erections.

    • Always awkward, that.

      Bus Driver: “This is your stop, get off the bus!”

      Bearman: “I, ah… need a minute please.”

      Bus Driver: “What do you mean? Get off the bus right now. I’ve got a schedule to keep. Why are you holding your crotch?”

      Bearman: “No particular reason.”
      *Shuffles to the door*

      Bus Driver: “Why are you walking like that? What’s wrong with you?”

      Bearman: “Nothing. Everything’s fine. It’s all under control. We had a weapons malfunction, but it’s taken care of. We’re all fine down here. How are you?”

      Bus Driver: “We’re sending down a squad.”

      Bearman: “A squad. Um, no. That’s a bad Idea. We’ve got a reactor leak. Lots of radiation. Very bad.”

      Bus Driver: “What’s your Identification number?”

  4. I had a comment ready but after reading that imaginary exchange I’m laughing too much to remember it

    • 🙂

  5. fairly recent book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman (Gail Sheehy) starts to blow some of the “women dessicate past age 40” concept out of the water. and i’ve got to say, at 47? my drive is not diminished… it IS, however, different. i am attracted to different types of sex partners. no longer the “Powerful Egg Protector” stereotype, but the “I’m not confused about who I am” dudes who can screw like rats for hours on end… oh, wait… did i write that out loud? 🙂

    • Yes, you did. Can you do it some more, please?🙂

    • I agree that women don’t dessicate after 40. But what about 50? What about 60? You see where I’m going here. It’s important to know what’s coming, because I’m one of those guys you mentioned, and I want to know, you know? If the future involves me wanting to screw like a rat for hours while my wife wants to watch American Idol, then we’re in trouble! Maybe by then they’ll have some pills for her or something.

      • If I only had a crystal ball (or two) …😆

      • one thing i’ve learned (and maybe the only thing) is that i can’t speak for others. and given that i had a pesky encounter with breast cancer a few years ago, i won’t be able to take hormone replacement once i hit the big ‘m’, so i have absolutely no idea what’s coming… “make hay while the sun shines” is all i can do…

  6. no daisyfae, you didn’t. But we all have mind reading powers here so just carry on with that train of thought…

  7. So, I gotta wait another six years before I screw something again? Friggin life just keeps comin’ atcha, don’t it.

  8. I am 72 and have been called sexy more often since I turned 70 than ever before in my life. It is in the mind, but a decently shaped and flexible body helps. I decided after 15 years of post-breakup solitude to look for a relationship again and realized I needed to change my ways. I always had a high sex drive and still do though did not express it for a long time. I am a “one-man” woman – the problem was how to find that man. With my daughter’s encouragement, I bought straight leg jeans, camisoles, dresses showing cleavage etc but the biggest change was attitudinal, I joined many online dating sites, had a number of interesting experiences, lots of attention from men in their 20, to 50’s, a 23 year old in town who pursued me, many proposals – a couple for marriage – and finally met a very special man who is 49 years old and wants to make us permanent. I should mention that my ex is 16 years younger than me and age was never a problem, My libido is in gear and it all works very well and we look forward to new explorations and experiences. I respond more quickly than before, which is hardly a detriment. The women in my family are very long lived (my mother is 97 and still going strong) and appear younger than our years. Mind you, we live healthy life styles.

    Be encouraged!


      domain name – for sale


  9. oops – error in my email – this is the correct one

  10. Great article. I was totally gonna tweet this until I realized you’ve cleverly hidden the Twitter button. Now, what’s a girl to do?🙂 Have a great day. Cheers.

    • Interesting, I hadn’t realized that was turned off. It should be on now, so tweet away!


      • Done. Thanks.

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