A new study suggests that Men’s libidos last well into their 60s and 70s, while women get all bored with the whole intercourse thing and would rather just read a book. This study was made via polls, of course, meaning that they just went out and conducted surveys, which made me wonder how I would respond to such a survey, and what they hell was wrong with the women anyway?
Okay, I’m not anywhere near 60, and I’m certainly just as obsessed with sex as I was when I was younger. Well… okay, maybe not that obsessed. I still think about sex at least every five to ten minutes, but that’s probably down a bit from my younger years when it was every few seconds. I can’t possibly imagine not having my attention ripped away by the sight of a beautiful female, even if I’m pretending not to look or be interested. That’s just how I’m programmed. I’m married, and I would never do anything physical (I don’t even flirt), but that doesn’t mean my mind isn’t going to wander, and my imagination isn’t going to mentally undress every woman I come into contact with. Well… most of them anyway.
Is this the difference, I wonder, between the sexes when the body starts to slow down? Sex is, after all, something that’s mostly in your head. According to the survey, only 40% of women in the 65 to 74 age range reported having sex in the last year, vs. 67% for men. Was the gender mortality percentage taken into account? I would hope so – there would certainly be fewer men at this age, increasing the availability of willing women to the remaining men. For guys, outliving the competition is a major advantage – although not for procreation – but more for recreation.
One of the things noted was that, for men, sex is often tied to an erection. If we can get it up, then we can get it on. For women, it’s apparently more connected to body image and how they feel about their bodies. If they don’t think they look hot, then they aren’t going to feel hot. To make matters worse, older women focus on things they don’t like about themselves – thighs and tummies. Apparently they can’t see their asses, so they’re less of a concern. (WTF? Go get a mirror). Psychologists think that these “body image issues” may be even more of a libido dampener than menopause. It’s a serious hangup for older women, but it’s also one that men can help with if they’re made aware of it (and if they’re willing to put forth the effort). So I guess if you’re an older guy, and you’ve got an older lady that you want to get frisky with, then maybe you need to weigh your options and ask yourself if stoking her fire is going to be worth the fun it will provide (and the exercise, let’s not forget that, because you need all the low-impact exercise you can get after 70).
Obviously, the amount of effort required to get the motor running is going to vary between women. Everyone’s different. Maybe you’re married to a nymphomaniac, and even at 70, you still can’t keep up with her. Awesome for you! But most of us aren’t going to be that lucky. Some of us are going to be even less lucky and have a partner that looks at sex as something of a duty. (Boring) If so, you should either get a divorce or adopt her philosophy, because at 70, you’re unlikely to change her mind. And besides, by this time, you should have done something about it already.
So what do you do? Complements – that’s what she needs. Blatant outright lies, if that’s what it takes. (This is my theory anyway). I won’t be able to test this, of course, until my wife and I reach this age, but I suspect that when I’m in the mood and she’s not, I should be able to get her going by telling her how sexy she is. Sure, wine and chocolate and foot rubs and a deep hot oil massage might help too, but it’s the mental conditioning that will probably be the primary factor in activating her libido. She needs to be confidant that I think she’s attractive for her to feel that my desire is validated. She needs to know that I want her, and that this isn’t just about taking care of business I need taken care of, but that this is something for both of us. I want her to feel good too. It’s a bonding thing, and one that not only brings two people closer, but is frankly rather intimate and somewhat personal. So I’m going to tell her how beautiful she is, even if I don’t think so. I’m going to lie about it, and I’m going to do a good fricken job about lying too. And why am I going to lie? Because I want the sex. That’s pretty simple. The question that should be in her head is why am I putting forth so much effort, and the answer to that should be obvious – because I want her. And that should be the biggest turn-on for her – to be wanted enough that I’d be willing to lie about it and try this hard to get her going. This feedback loop, if performed successfully, should get me somewhere.
But, like I said, I haven’t reached this age yet, and so this is merely a theory. It does work now but at this age, I don’t need to lie – she’s still very sexy. Ask me in another ten to twenty. With any luck, I’ll never have to lie!