Half Assed Snippets

Introducing Snippets

I get paid to produce fully-assed work, so don’t ask me for that. However, I’ve got plenty of half-assed work just laying around, so I thought I’d put some of it in here for posterior posterity. Therefore, I am creating the Snippets page to serve as a container for all the half-assed BS I tend to start and never finish. Snippets will be the bits and pieces of things that make up everything else. Sort of like atoms. Maybe I’ll do something with them later, but since I never do anything with atoms, why should I expect to do anything with snippets?

I’m thinking there are a lot of fun short little stories that don’t have a good beginning or an ending out there, just looking to be written. This is a procrastinators delight. I can start that “If Jesus was a Vampire” book I’ve been wanting to write. Or my “Fifteen Pies to Avoid,” article. Or maybe that “How to Lose Weight by Starving Yourself” manual. Then there’s the “Twelve Steps to a Larger Penis” self-help guide that I know is going to make me rich. Or “Frozen Vegetables for Paraplegics” cook book I was going to do (but was so politically incorrect that I could never get it published).

In short, snippets is for everything – in short! And, if you’re interested in reading them, go ahead. But, if you don’t want to read them, then that’s fine too. I mean, who wants to read a bunch of stupid shit with no real beginning or end? Well… okay, this does describe a certain amount of published work, but this is unpublished. It doesn’t count. It’s not even real (much like me). So why not read something thrown together by a figment of your own imagination. It’s sort of like a dream within a dream, which is just strange enough to pay attention to.

11 Responses

  1. Great idea. But I’d be careful about that “If Jesus was a Vampire” book though. It might really piss off the real Vampires who’ve been feeding off His followers for all of these years. :-)

    • Great, them and the Top Ramen people will be looking to kick my ass.

  2. Interesting. I’ll read more of it when time allows.

    • Cool.
      Then check out https://writerdood.wordpress.com/snippets/gerd-9/ It’s the newest one. I’m listing them top down oldest to newest.

      Maybe I should put the newest ones on top?

  3. “Twelve Steps to a Larger Penis” If you can step on your penis..it is plenty large enough.

    • Which would require only one step, so you can throw out the wasted other eleven steps and get on to making big bucks on the porno circuit.

    • That’s just length. We’re going for girth here as well!

  4. That would be fun to read. Beware, you might get love and adoration along with brilliant suggestions that spur you on to picking one of those babies up again. Then, BOOM! You’re rich and famous. (And there’s been some sort of explosion.)

    • Right. That’s a good point.
      If I’m in an optimistic mood, I’ll have to wear a bomb suit!

  5. […] Image Source: writerdood.wordpress.com […]

    • Cool. I use a Nexus 7 though. Mainly because I don’t need a big tablet. It’s just too much tablet for me to handle. I can do more with less. Yep. The Nexus 7 is all I’ve ever needed. Of course, it is like comparing a revolver to a .357 automatic. But not everyone needs a Cold Python. And they’re expensive! So I wander around with a .38 snub nose.

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