In answer to my wife’s question, “what do you want for Christmas,” I had no answer. Yes, I do want a new cell phone – I’m still using a BlackBerry (I think I’m the last one in my office still using a BlackBerry), but I’ll wait until my contract comes due so I can get a free phone. Because I’m cheap that way. Still, I hate my BlackBerry. It has no touch screen and it’s slower than the ants in my kids ant farm after he put them in the freezer for a week. (I was kind of surprised to find it there).
Anyway, in addition to everything going on in my life, I’ve now got this new stress to deal with – what I want for Christmas. It’s not as if I need this kind of stress. It really pisses me off to have to wrangle with a question of this magnitude during the holidays. It’s bad enough that I have to figure out what other people want without having to figure out what I want. Why does this question always come up at this time of year? No one bothers asking me in July what I want for Christmas, it’s always got to be in December.
Realistically, the answer should probably be money. Gift cards are wonderful, but they restrict me to a certain store or a certain restaurant, and I guarantee you that no matter how hard you try to find the right one, I’m probably not going to like it. Do I have to eat at Applebees? Is there a reason for this? Just give me some cash, that’s a better option. If you want to be fancy about it, then go to the bank and ask for some new crisp bills. That’s the kind of fancy I can deal with.
When I was a kid, my Dad always asked for socks and underwear. I don’t know what he was thinking, I suspect he was just being cheap. Actually, that gives me an idea. This year I think I’ll get him some socks and underwear – just for nostalgia. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. Usually I just give him a card to Applebees along with a nature video. Last year I gave him one I thought looked good but it turned out to be a bunch of animals having sex. Later he called me up and asked me if I’d watched it. I told him no. I thought the title sounded interesting, and the cover had animals on it. I don’t screen them for inappropriate material. I said, “well you like animals don’t you? There you go.”
I don’t know what I want for Christmas. And I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I’ve looked online for possible solutions, but when my wife buys something for me, it’s my money she’s spending, so really I’m buying myself something right? I should just give myself some money. That’s it! I’m going to put some money in an envelope and seal it, then give that to my wife and tell her it’s a Christmas gift to me from her. She can just set it next to the tree. PERFECT!
Man. I feel so much better to have that off my plate.
Like this:
Filed under: society, Stupid Shit, Weird Tagged: | A gift for dood, Christmas gifts, What do you want for Christmas?
Maybe you should tell your wife to get a job for your present this year..haha
To be fair, she does have a job. It’s part time though, and does bring in a lot. And also, if I were to say something like that, you KNOW what would happen.
I asked for handkerchiefs (like bandanas…recall, I grew up on a working ranch and EW I still blow my nose on handkerchiefs; don’t knock it, I’m the one who washes them) because Bro is ever-poor and I really could use some.
When a coworkers SPAZZED over a freebie I gave him (something he loves that I simply have no use for that costs about $20), he kept asking what he could do for me. Finally, I said, “I need 2 new tires.” That shut him up!
You’ll probably end up getting a new hot wheels car.
As long as it’s AWESOME, I’ll take it!
Dood, I am so with you. In fact I really don’t want anything for Christmas, other than to hang with my family, some food and wine… well and maybe some socks and underwear
I am a blackberry user though and still LOVE it! Perhaps that’s because I’ve never really used a smartphone.
Technically, a BB is a smartphone though. It’s just not a very robust one. I toy around with these phones on a regular basis at work because I test the apps for them to write the manuals, and for the most part the BB does everything they do, just a LOT slower and with a smaller screen.
I agree, all I really want to do is have fun with the family. That’s what makes the holidays fun. Playing with the kids, catching up with the adults, and eating all the great food.
I didn’t know that an electrically-chargable portable flashlight is available until I received one for a gift. Why not give yourself one?
I have one. A couple actually. I keep one in my coat along with my other supplies – just in case a dimensional warp dumps me into the distant past and I’m forced to survive in a dinosaur-ridden landscape.
Aren’t guys supposed to get cashmere v neck sweaters on sale? My mom insists that is the perfect guy holiday gift and hits the Bloomingdales cashmere sale each year. Adam has v neck cashmere sweaters in every color of the rainbow. Advantage for you – they’re really nice to cuddle up to on a cold winter day. Disadvantage – you look like you’re 80 years old.
I don’t know why, but those sweaters always remind me of the old TV show “My Favorite Martian.” There was a time when those sweaters seemed kind of “high tech.” But now they’re just nerdy and dumb looking. Fortunately, I never developed the attachment. I’m much more of a turtleneck person. Additionally, I also find the turtleneck look attractive on women and have encouraged my wife to wear them. But she doesn’t seem to like them. I think women look really good in those turtlenecks that have the really big neck that hangs down. The sleeveless ones are kind of sexy too.
Guys who don’t offer ideas deserve to get piles of socks and ties. My son always suggests Amazon gift cards because you can buy virtually anything there. Also establish an Amazon wish list and install their little app that lets you add items to the list from anywhere, not just Amazon. Then just let people know you have a list. I got my daughter-in-law’s Christmas present off her list — last August.
I have, did, and ended up buying my own gifts for myself (although I went with a Best Buy gift card since there’s one near my house). I KNOW I can find what I want at Best Buy, and I won’t have to pay shipping. Now, if I can just figure out what it is.
Oh yeah, Best Buy would do for all the men in my life, too.
I asked for socks at Christmas, but not underwear … that’s too much.